augusztusban újra berlin!
i’m trying to be all natural :) the rastafarians say that your body is a temple so i’m trying to treat mine like one.
i haven’t taken any medication (advil, cough medicine, any of that crap) for about 3 months now. i go by the concept that if you’re sick, it’s for a reason- karma and all that jazz. and i also have a problem with science and believe that you live a healthier and longer life when you don’t take crap that may have shit side effects. i stopped taking birth control about 6 months ago as well.
i stopped consuming drugs and alcohol (exactly 2 weeks clean today) because i’ve experimented a great deal and now i don’t see the point in it. i’d rather have a naturally free mind than take drugs to enhance my thoughts. (just because i’ve stopped consuming, doesn’t mean i’m against people who do. it’s your life, do as you so please.)
namaste yo ॐ
After Guillaume, nothing was ever the same. He might as well have been some sort of fictional character because nobody knew him in my circle of friends and the moments we had shared together were as good as unreal because there was never any proof of us meeting. I think that at one point, even I, myself stopped believing that he was real.
He changed me without even meaning to. My world didn’t seem to make sense without him in it. It was almost as if I had lost my identity. Every look, every word, any exchange we ever made towards each other was so real that I felt uneasy at times. I don’t know how many times I must’ve cried out of sheer happiness in his arms. He was so young and innocent- I think that’s what made him so real. He hadn’t yet been exposed to the world’s indecency.
Now that it’s all over, I carry him with me everywhere I go and as much as I may want to or need to, there’s no letting go of someone who’s changed you to the point of no return.
— Frida Kahlo (via seulray)
I lost myself in the boy who whispered sweet nothings into my ears in dim candlelight.
I lost myself in the eyes of the boy who read my body like braille.
I lost myself when a drunken boy claimed he loved me- I refused to believe him. I shut myself down completely when those words left his mouth. I didn’t want romance- I wanted sin.
I lost myself in the boy with wild ways and a thirst for adventure and danger. I wanted to be like him and live life on edge- not wanting to die but knowing that I could die any second of any day and accepting it.
I lost myself in the boy whose voice sounded like poetry- I nearly lost it everytime he serenaded me to sleep. I never thought there’d be a last time.
I lost myself in the boy who strummed his guitar like God when he dubbed me his muse.
I lost myself in the boy who made art as often as he breathed because he dedicated every piece in my name.
I lost myself in the boy who made me cry both tears of laughter and pain- he made me hate myself for feeling so broken.
I’m sorry I lost myself in every soul I met before you and I’m sorry everything I said to you were broken words and empty promises. I wanted to give my all and though I tried, I couldn’t.