within the past 6 months (183 days, 26 weeks, or 262974 minutes),
i have learned to memorize the way you taste when your lips touch mine and how to detect whether you are happy or angry or sad just by the sound of your voice. i know exactly how many freckles have plagued your body and exactly where they are placed. i learned this during my sleepless nights intertwined in your arms. my favorites are the 3 tiny ones diagonally sprinkled on the right side of your neck. i have also learned that once you fall asleep, you breathe heaviest in increments of 8. i have learned exactly how to piss you off and how to cheer you up when things aren’t in place. i have learned how to tell when you do and do not want 2 sugars in your black coffee- 2 each morning and 1 when you are running low on sugar. i have learned your two super dorky middle names, your sisters name, your brothers name, and your bestfriends name. i have learned all of these things and each day i strive to learn more.
i have memorized your reasons for loving me and that is that there are no reasons- just that you just feel it in all 248 of your limbs. i have learned that you can be mean and controlling with me when you aren’t sober and though i hate it, it will never make me love you any less. i hate when you are upset with me, i hate it when you turn to face the other way when we sleep because you are mad at me. i refuse to let you fall asleep with doubts about us on your mind because i know all too well how that shit will haunt you. i hate when you make me feel like i am invisible. my love, i know you need space sometimes but you don’t need to make me feel like i am not a part of your life. mostly, i hate how vulnerable i am because of you but i accept it because though you make me weak, you make me the strongest i’ve ever been.
2:02 pm • 5 December 2013 • 5 notes
This is how you lose her.
You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her: the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery, the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five, the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another, the scent of new books in the store, the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.
You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is too quiet, your handwriting when you sign your name in blank sheets of paper, your muted laughter when you are trying to be polite, and more and more of what you are, which you don’t even know about yourself, because she pays attention.
She remembers when you forget.
You lose her for every second you make her feel less and less of the beauty that she is. When you make her feel that she is replaceable. She wants to feel cherished. When you make her feel that you are fleeting. She wants you to stay. When you make her feel inadequate. She wants to know that she is enough and she does not need to change for you, nor for anyone else because she is she and she is beautiful, kind and good.
You must learn her.
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots. You must write to her. You must remind her that you are there. You must know how long it takes for her to give up. You must be there to hold her when she is about to.
You must love her because many have tried and failed. And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved, that she is worthy to be kept.
And, this is how you keep her.
12:24 pm • 10 November 2013 • 469,079 notes
A memory of my first party of last September I spent at Le Sucre in Lyon where Erol Alkan was invited to play alongside Daniel Avery, which is on the photo drinking cola.
i was so high i couldnt even dance but his set was magic. (though not as magic as his set as Nuits Sonores 2013)
9:59 pm • 26 October 2013 • 2 notes
Summer Dreams Δ
@the Skream concert @ Le Sucre (Lyon, France)
11:08 pm • 22 October 2013